My Blog!

Welcome to the blog of Catatonia~ here you'll find I most often talk about parts of my life and the website itself. This is basically just a digital diary for me to ramble about whatever I want!

Go Home?

01/11/24 Happy (late) Halloween!!!

Long time no see!!! I hope everyone who celebrates had a good Halloween. Mine was okay.

I dressed up as a vampire pretending to be a human dressed as a vampire LOL. My costume was really last minute because everyone involved was being so wishy-washy. My nana didn’t tell me that i could go with the people i made plans with until the 30th, and she refused to take me anywhere to buy me extra things for my “costume”, sooo... plus, the people i made plans with kept being extremely indecisive about what we were doing, so i ended up spending Halloween night with one of my friends.

My friend dressed up as Light from Death Note and she even had a red apple and a death note notebook with her LOL. We went trick or treating in this rich white neighborhood. It was okay, it was really loud because there were hoards of kids and teenagers trick or treating, one kid kept screaming about his potato, and it was all really overstimulating especially when people would stop in the middle of the sidewalk and pretend you were approaching so then you hand to walk in the grass around them... it was NOT good for my autism...

We then spent like 15 minutes walking around the huge neighborhood looking for my friend’s car because she forgot to mark where she parked... but we ended up finding it!!! Phew. I’m glad we found it when we did because my legs were starting to seriously hurt and we weren’t even in the neighborhood for like 20 minutes. I’ve never really enjoyed trick or treating anyway because i don’t like interacting with people i don’t know so i wasn’t having a very good time. Now that i’m older i think i’d prefer to go to Halloween parties instead, but that’s not to say that i think someone of my age going trick or treating is immature or anything LOL.

Then we went to the city square and we were for for another 20 minutes or so before my friend’s mom told her she had to be home soon, so we took pictures and then she drove me home! So that was my Halloween. Not very exciting, but I still had fun!

Now onto other life updates... Ben and Onia came home from California a few days ago. We haven’t hung out yet because they need some time to rest after being halfway across the country for a week and a half, and Onia has been working Every Day since she got back... but we should hang out on Tuesday or something (today is Friday). I’m happy they’re home because i missed them a lot!!

I’ve also been talking to this boy... but that feels slightly too private to talk about more here so that’s all you get 😈 buuut, when i send him selfies or something he gives me over the top compliments and they’re really sweet compliments but i just don’t know how to feel about it because i grew up being called ugly all the time, especially from boys i had crushes on... Tfw you grow up as an autistic “girl” 😅😅😅

That’s all! Again, I hope everyone who celebrated Halloween had an awesome night, and for those of you who don’t, I hope you had a good day too !!! Byeee

18/10/24 I love my friends + thank you

Ben and Onia left for California yesterday. I’m really sad because they’ll be gone for two weeks, which means two weeks of no hang outs with them, but at the same time I’m happy for them because i know they’ve been looking forward to this trip for months!! I’ll still be able to hang out with Katy and Jameson anyway. Onia told us we can hang out at the house whenever we want (as long as her parents are okay with it which 99% of the time they are) so we can love on the cats and stuff and she said she even left us snacks and stuff like that for us to eat!!

I literally love my friends so much sometimes it makes my heart hurt man. This is the first real group of people that i’ve consistently enjoyed being friends with, where we don’t really have fights or drama and when we do have issues, we talk it out to fix them instead of getting angry at each other. I am so so so thankful we’ve been able to know each other in this way. I knew Onia, Ben, and Katy before we all really started hanging out and our friend group “formed”, so it’s strange but in a good way when i think about the paths we all took to become friends with each other. I just love them so much (o^ ^o)♥ and i’m excited for the unique experience of hanging out with just Katy and Jameson since we mostly hang out as a group, or just four of us when someone can’t make it.

Moving on, i want to thank everyone who followed my site yesterday...♥ and to those of you who left kind comments, thank you too!!! It feels good to have people say your creative work is good. It gives me motivation to keep working on this site, and if you have any suggestions for other pages i can add i would love to hear them!!! I want Catatonia to be expansive, where you can spend hours exploring (which is certainly what i’ve done to some other sites and it’s always such an amazing experience to learn about a person through their website) and come out of it with a new experience. The site is currently very bare boned, but with time I will eventually add more pages with cool things on them that you will love looking at... LOL

This post was a bit shorter than usual and I definitely have more on my mind but I feel like those thoughts should be put in a separate blog post about them instead of here. Thank you for reading!!! Bye bye~

16/10/24 My plug said he got an exotic strain for sale (/j)

Hello there! I come bearing a new update... so first of all i wanna talk about my weekend, but i’m including Friday since that’s technically when my weekend started i guess. I got picked up at around 8pm because when they went to Sonic to pick up some food for all of us before heading to pick me up, they got into a bit of a pickle...

Before i talk about the pickle i should introduce my friends. Onia is the only one in our group with a drivers license so she’s the one that drives us around all the time, but she ended up getting a job so we’re not able to hang out as often as we used to (which was basically every other day). Onia was busy at the time so her mom offered to pick everyone up, so her and Ben (Onia’s boyfriend, they live together) went to first go pick up our friend Katy who lives in the next city over. Then they came back and picked up Jameson and headed to Sonic.

Onto the pickle, apparently Onia’s mom’s car broke down so Onia had to come and pick everyone up, which was why i was picked up so late. When we got to Onia’s house we decided to watch Deadpoop & Wolverine (we pirated it but don’t tell anyone) and thennn i don’t really remember because i may have been high af or a different alter switched in (lore drop: i have OSDD) or something like that. We just chilled on Saturday and Sunday and i then went home and did some homework.

Onto the topic of my computer, i’ve started to get used to it. The keyboard is still a bit confusing, i have a bit of muscle memory for it but it’s still weird and i keep accidentally pressing different keys when i mean to press another. I’m really thankful for it though, i can actually run Minecraft with some pretty heavy duty mods (like Terralith) without my fps dropping to -2. The settings on my drawing tablet are weird in Krita so I’ve been trying to fix that too, but other than that everything has been running smoothly.

Yesterday i added the reviews page and a review of the movie Dinner in America!! I think next i want to redo the profile page because the layout isn’t exactly my favorite. I also need to figure out how to freakin work iframes because i have plans for the graphic, shrine, etc. pages that i think will need to use iframes, sooo there’s that...

Today i reorganized the shit out of my Pinterest. I really like it because i think its a lot more cohesive and i’m able to find my boards easier since i cut down the boards to like six or seven, but they all have at least five sections... i did the math and i apparently have a little over four thousand pins saved :o I’M A PINCEL... get it, PINterest inCEL? Heh... i can be a bit of a jokester.

School has been boring as usual, and i still need my drivers license.... my social security card should come in soon though, the lady who helped me fill out the reciept paper (because my nana already filled out the required papers online) told me it should arrive in 7 to 10 days, which would be toward the end of this week. I’m excited to finally be able to take my drivers permit test soon.

Not very eventful huh? It’s okay. Toodles :p

11/10/24 Broken Laptop & New Computer!

Welp, last week i broke my laptop. I was sitting back down at my desk, lost my balance, and in my effort to rebalance accidently slammed my water bottle on my closed laptop which broke the screen. It made me super sad... but thankfully i was able to buy a whole new computer which is something i’ve been wanting for a while now!

I was right about my motivation for this website going down... not because i don’t like it anymore, obviously not, i just don’t have anymore ideas for the different pages, but in the next couple days i definitely will.

Later tonight i’m going to one of my friend’s houses so we can have a sleepover! We were planning on going to a show to see some local bands but the one who drives us around had a really long day at work and none of us are even really in the mood to go anyway.

One con of my laptop breaking other than not being able to use it for the time being (because i plan on getting the screen fixed) is that i can’t insert the SD card for my digital camera to get the pictures :( if i really wanted to i’m sure i could power through using my laptop because you can still just slightly see the screen if you shine a bright enough flashlight on it, but i really don’t feel like going through the effort.

Sorry this was so short! My arm is really hurting right now and i’m not really in the mood to write a lot because of it. I’m also still trying to get used to this computer. Bye bye :)

03/10/24 Yesterday’s activities

Wow, an update so soon? I guess? This will be a smaller one though. I just wanted to talk about how i got my new glasses yesterday and i love them so much! Theyre more rectangular than my previous pair but i actually wanted that, kinda was the whole reason i got them...

Before i went to get my new glasses yesterday, my nana and i went out to the storage unit to check out what was in it. I hadnt been there since like July 2019 so i had ABSOLUTELY no idea what was in there except for the books and photos that my nana told me about it. When we got there, we had to get the owner of the storage unit to cut the lock off because we’d somehow lost the key. Apparently my nana bought a lock that could be cut with bolt cutters and so the man kindly gifted us a more secure lock that can only be cut with a diamond blade saw.

There wasnt much inside the unit. Some boxes with books and pictures which i expected, but in the corner there was Franzia wine box thatd been cut in half and had some papers and a thick envelope in it, as well as a folder with my name on it which my mom had written. There was also a brand new lawn mower that my mom purchased shortly before she died so my nana said she might give it to her friend whos currently redoing her house. There was also the old day bed that was in my room before i moved in that my nana had to put in the storage unit because i already had my own bed.

There wasn’t much else. I noticed a wasp nest (unsure if it was in use) and told the guy who sprayed it with some kind of bug spray. It smelled really bad!! Then of course after looking at what was in the storage unit, i went to go pick up my glasses and then my nana took us to Sonic to get some drinks and mozerella sticks. They were pretty good...

Speaking of driving, ive been meaning to get my driver’s license soon. I apparently need a whole bunch of stuff (expected stuff, of course) like my birth certificant and... apparently a copy of my school transcript to see if I have at least a 2.0 GPA? I guess it makes sense but I dont really understand why they need it. I asked one of my friends and she said it didn't matter sooo... Also its unrelated but im going next week to some government building a few citys over to get a new security card because i probably lost it when i moved in with my nana.

How dare i say my life is boring and then update my blog the next day... i swear it isnt usually like this. Also! A couple of my friends went to go see Chappell Roan last night! I wish i was able to get tickets but im not that upset since im not that big of a fan of her. I enjoy listening to her songs when my friends put them on in the car and i like her My Kink is Karma music video (as well as the song) but i very rarely listen to her in my own time.

The whole discourse going on with her right now is extremely tiring. I feel as if the internet has gotten very cruel in recent years because Chappell has been diagnosed with depression as well as Bipolar Disorder, but don’t quote me on that. I just know its a mental health thing and that it makes me upset to see all these people say all this shit (excuse my French) about her and then turn around and say “mental health is important!” But at the same time, i can understand at being upset about her cancelling shows, because you lose money and sometimes come from a whole different side of the world just for her to cancel her show. Its a complicated subject i think.

That’s all i have to say for today. Bye :)

02/10/24 Wake Me Up When September Ends

The title for this entry would’ve been more fitting if I posted this yesterday but I just couldn’t pass up the chance of using it LOL

Anyway, my life has been pretty boring but also kinda interesting lately? At the beginning of September, I dyed my hair blue with my friends. It has bright blue streaks in it with some brownish-green looking sections because before, I had bleached blond streaks into my brown hair. I really love it, and honestly it feels like I was always meant to have blue hair!

I watched a lot of movies in September, too. Some notable ones are My Own Private Idaho, Alien (and Alien Romulus, which I saw in the theatre... it was actually kinda scary!!), Dinner in America, and Helter Skelter (2012). My favorite out of that list is probably Helter Skelter. It was really interesting watching Lilico go crazy watching her body deteriorate from all the surgeries she was getting. I almost felt bad for her, if it weren’t for how she treated poor Michiko... overall it was a great movie, and this topic gave me the idea to make a page for my reviews of movies and games and stuff. :3

My September was mostly boring honestly. I’m doing virtual school so most of the time I just say home and watch YouTube or play games (recently I’ve become obsessed with Stardew Valley again) and work on my schoolwork. I did have to go to my school’s district office to get some work done and I’ve hung out with my friends throughout the month too of course so it’s not like I’m being a hermit, thank god.

On the topic of me becoming obsessed with Stardew Valley again... the 1.6 update is awesome! I hadn’t played SDV a while before the update game out, and a couple days ago I decided to start up a new save. I’m currently in the winter of my first year and maried to..... Shane. BUT HE'S MY POOKIEBUTT OKAY. Anyway, before I started playing a lot I had about 25 hours on Steam, and now I have almost 70 hours!!! Crazy what autism can do to you...

Now I want to talk about Catatonia. I’m really surprised I had the motivation yesterday to completely recode the entire homepage and add a few offshoot pages like the Newsletter and Resources and stuff like that. It’s not really that surprising since I just changed a couple things about the homepage (it practically looks exactly the same as it did before) and used most of the code for the other Sitely pages. If you’re reading this then obviously the blog is already done... After this I will work on the About Me page, and thennn... I don’t know! I guess I’ll work on my graphics collection. I already have a carrd with some of them on there but I want to move it here since that would be more convinient.

Thank you for reading if you read all the way through :) This may or may not be one of the longer entries. I do want to write long blog posts about... whatever, but I don’t have any ideas for what to write about sooo I don’t know! Bye :)

P.S. I'm definitely going to change the background images and stuff because I just can't find any pictures for the background that I actually like...